Been nearly a month since I last posted.  Not even sure if anyone is still reading this.  But I need something better than facebook or twitter sometimes.  I have meant to post.  Its just hard lately to put whats in my head to words.  Maybe its because my mind is always going a mile a minute and I cant slow down, or maybe I'm just not as good at expressing myself as I think I used to be.  I dont know.

Ever feel like no matter what you do in life, no matter how hard you try, how much effort you exert, your just never good enough? Yea. I feel like that in all aspects of my life.

My Dzadzi (Polish for grandfather) passed away this morning.  He was 98. He's the last of my grandparents to pass on, and this one hurts the most, because he's the only one I was really close with.  He was a mechanic and a tank driver in the Army in World War 2, was a machinist and a bunch of other things over the years.  I can remember being over at their house when I was a little kid, and getting to tinker with things in his basement workshop, or helping paint stuff.  I guess that's part of what put me towards where I am.  He was always so proud of what I was doing with my life and always wanted to hear the stories when I would be able to visit him.  I'm really going to miss him..... But it is for the best, his health was starting to really go downhill.  My mom said he only weighed 90 pounds. :-\ Hopefully he's back with my grandmother ,and looking for something to putter around with.

Im not happy here.  I've been here since July, and I have yet to make any friends.  I have a couple car guys I know up in Wilmington, NC about 90 minutes away, but I have to not be myself to a point around them, plus they partake in some stuff I want nothing to do with.  I dont even know how to make friends anymore since I dont like going to bars.

I feel like I'm kinda done with furry.  Havent even unpacked my suit since I moved.  I still like the art and whatnot, but desire to go to a con or a meet is at like zero.  I feel like there are much better aspects of my life that I could but that time, effort and money into. There's so many fake, shallow people.  I'm tired of meeting people who suddenly vanish when they find out you wont sleep with them, or the people that are all "we should hang out / play video games / do something" together and then just stop talking to you.  Stay classy you fucking retards.  And looking at the Carolina furs groups on Facebook and whatnot, its just a bunch of stupid derp kids that want to go be lifestylers everywhere they can.  Maybe I just miss the old days and the old ways?

Work... is.  I work a lot , but its partially because I have nothing else to do, plus I want experience.  I worked 23 days straight last month.  Busted ass this week to balance and rehang all the flight controls on an ATR72 for FedEx in under 2 days. Only to get yelled at because the plane isnt leaving on time due to something else. Its rough.  I'm working 2 weeks straight now because I want to try and see some stuff out on time, and when Im working I feel a little bit better about myself.  We did get a new Director of Maintenance at work  (my boss's boss)  and after talking to him, I'm hopeful that in the next few months things might get better.  Hopefully in March I will be going to Pratt and Whitney for training.

I want to go racing more.  I want the season to start.  I want to get back behind the wheel.  I'm truly happy then. But even that takes money I may or may not have.  Really want to go run some track days if I can get the scratch together.  Just give me a half hour of turning laps, time by myself, with my car, cause no matter what you think, sometimes Phoenix is the only one that understands me.


theres more.. relationship stuff, and some head demons... but I dont want to get into that now....

I worked 80 hours this week, including three days doing back to back to back double shifts.

This is one of the planes I'm working on.



Yea.  Not too much else to say.  Trying to sort out some aspects of life.

Looking forward towards next week.  My sister is visiting for a day, and then Aiden comes for 2 weeks.

Im starting to wonder if moving here was another step in making giant mistakes in my life..... All the lies in the job interview, and now.... just feeling very frustrated and isolated. And Im scared because I dont have a fall back plan.

I really should. I have a lot on my mind lately. But the internet seems dead lately, or maybe thats just towards me, heh.

Work is work. I enjoy it sometimes, but to be honest, it frustrates me most of the time. I hate being asked, and then fighting with management when I am asked or told to cut corners on things. Its not my style. We also went from really busy, to them cutting all overtime this week. Ugh. But yeah, fighting over wanting to replace damaged or corroded hardware, or going back and having to order tons of parts as a plane is in final assembly, is frustrating. There's many retarded people here that dont want to or just dont care to do their job right and its frustrating. The number of things I have been lied to about, looking back on my interview, amaze me as well. The engine shop... doesn't exist. the interior shop... doesn't exist. Formal training on aircraft? Never got any on the ATR, and we dont have any Dash-8's outside..... Plus the lack of a 90 day review like I was promised... can't wait to bring up my going to Pratt and Whitney school... that could be fun. I am supposedly getting trained on the Piaggio Avanti next week.... that could at least be the one bright spot in this place. And hopefully will be enough for me to like my job again. Working all the time and doing good work and not getting respected for it is getting old, yet again.

Outside of work, is fail. The gay bar, at least the non slutty one, is all 30+ and seems to be its own private circle. And there's no car scene, furry scene, or music scene locally. I really miss my friends. I had this whole weekend off and i didnt do much of anything, because well, there's nothing to really do, since I dont want to goto the bars. The style of martial arts I studied isn't taught locally, and there's no hockey rink yet... fehhhhhhh.

Hopefully it will start getting better?

"This is my unicorn, my release, my moment of bliss, my essence, my spirit, my guide, my all. Strapped in, behind the wheel, and with the visor down on my helmet, I see the world with an Amber hue, and everything is alright. Everything makes sense."

ATR42-320. Serial# 378, Built in 1988. Last Flown by Fly DAE, now getting a bunch of checks and refurbed so the leasing company can release it to a new airline.

Exhausted. Working 12 hours a day, 6 days a week in a futile attempt to get our plane out the door on time. :-/

Not much else to say. Haven't done much but work. Still don't know how to make friends down here :-/

Life is.  waiting to see if we get this hurricane.  Ponderign a turbo for Phoenix.  enjoying life.  Just need to make me some local friends.






have a shot of where I work.

Not much to say.

I live in Conway, SC now.

I love my boyfriend.

I enjoy my job.

I dont know how to go about making friends here tho :-\

And I just feel kinda awkward and out of place a lot lately.

At least with Aiden coming to visit, I have a reason to look forward to my birthday.

Packing up the house, donating stuff I don't want anymore, rebuilding and repairing Phoenix, studying for my AvCraft training, and setting up a local Historic stock car for the SCCA.


All in a weeks work?

In case you havent heard.  AvCraft Technical Services of Myrtle Beach, SC has hired me.  I start July 18th.  Looks like Im moving back South finally....

Oh poor livejournal, how I neglect you. I really don't mean to do these things, It just seems to happen.  Either I lack time, or the ability to write words.

Work is work.  Did the first two shows at Carlisle, now kinda done.  On a furlough for lack of a better term.  We arent really making money due to show turnouts and due to weather.  So i don't know if I am working any more. Just gonna try and pick up some odd and end local gigs for a couple bucks, or maybe try and sell of more stuff.

College is consuming my life.  I have 18 days of class left until I graduate.  @____@ I have not decided if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Classes are going well.  I finished Advanced Aircraft Maintenance: I wound up repairing a bunch of fiberglass parts to a homebuilt airplane, and repainting the landing gear covers, engine cowling, and wings.  Looks tits. I'll take some photos and upload them later. Also completed "Composite Structures"  This was one of my favorite classes.  We learned ll about composite design and repair, and actually made two parts.  The first was a dry weave of Carbon Fiber and Kevlar that we had to put resin in ourselves, the second was a Carbon Graphite and Fiberglass Prepreg setup. Cooking them in a vacuum oven to cure them. Then we made repairs to both.  It was a very informative class, and I wouldn't mind getting into that kind of work. Now I'm in Hydraulics and Environmental systems, and then welding... Ugh.  Too close.

June 14th I go for Orals / Practicals for my Airframe license.  So nervous.  wsoifghsknkdhaspjhj!*(@$  ugggggggggh.

On the job front, starting to have things come around.  I interview with Air Wisconsin on June 13th, and I had an interview with AvCraft Friday.  I want the AvCraft job.  I wouldnt mind moving to Myrtle Beach.  haha.  I have some interest from Sikorsky, but for a job I'm less than interested in, and waiting to see if Air Methods (Medivac Company) are interested as well.

I've also had some really cute boi up in New York win my heart over.. heeeee. He was here for the weekend and it was just awesome.

Racing has been going well.  It's my outlet.  I put my helmet on, and strap in, and I'm just free while I'm out on course.  Burned up all the Hoosier tires I had, switching over to BF Goodrich G-force R1's. I mean, I got my money out of the Hoosiers, 3 test and Tunes, and 9 events.  Lets see what new tires do.  Here's a shot of her at speed during the "Fast Track for a Cure: Race to Cure Huntington's Disease" last weekend.  Just call me "Black Stig"



Phoenix Got new Stainless steel brake lines, Hawk HPS Pads, ATE Type 200 Fluid, oh, and some sexy new wheels for the street.  Sparco 17" Wheels, with Hankook Ventus V12's on them.. Murr.


Yea, so thats it for now.  More before I graduate, really.

New icon! ^ Hoosier R6 tires, ftw!


Also, not much to say lately.  Got a new helmet for racing this year.







Otherwise, just struggling on the job market.  getting alot of no replies, or "your good but not good enough" calls back.

I am now a federally licensed aircraft powerplant mechanic :D

And I kicked the shit out of my 6th quarter. 5 A's and a high B. missed by one point.

So I have a 3.97 GPA, and half of my federal license.


Foxes get it done, son!

So yeah, I have posted here this month, but nothing of note.  So, hows about I change that.

College is consuming whats left of my life. Studying for finals and my FAA exams is consuming my life.

All work and no play makes Topher a dull boy.

I bought a suit, cause I need one for job interviews, and damn, i look good in it.  I may have to upload some shots in it at some point.


On the Phoenix front, got some new little goodies for her.  Some new plastics, that I am painting to clean her up, new bolts, fixed her headlights, etc etc.  I also ordered new tires and wheels for this year.... So i will now have a set of snow wheels, street wheels, and track wheels.

Oh yeah... SCCA Autocross season starts next weekend.  I'm UBER pumped to get out there. I'm really excited to start driving her, and seeing what all the work I have done has actually gained me.... #05...... Hoping to also run some track days this year too.


Hopefully more and better updates soon!

Phoenix seems to have finally stopped breaking things it seems.

I passed the Orals / Practicals for my FAA Powerplant and Aircraft General exams this week.  I take the written at the end of the month.


Thats pretty much it.  Otherwise its cold, Im falling out of love with living in Pittsburgh, and Im still a depressed, lonely, out of place, self hating son of a bitch.  Yup.

11 days till my Powerplant and General License exams.  Im epic stressed/ nervous.


Still trying to fix Phoenix.  swapping radiators and checking suspension issues tomorrow.

\Stressed and depressed over some over social / personal / mental issues.


Just trying to hold it all together and keep myself on task.... fuck these exams will be the death of me....



i really hope i just pass and can find a job  :-\

Damn right.  Feeling good.  I dunno if its the full moon, or what.

Got Phoenix all fixed up, and cleaned up.  She's entered at Tunerwar in Harrisburg this weekend.  I'm pumped.  Shes gonna hold her own.





College is busy and stressful  March 9-10th is my license exams.  Nervous, yes.  Lots of studying to do, heh.


I'm also feeling better / pretty much over the failure of my last relationship.  Its her loss.

And hey, just look at this handsome / cute / sexy/ whatever fox that is back on the market, amirite?  haha!





Woooo!

My last post was about a 2 week gap in communication with my girlfriend, Katie.  It went from phone calls every day and I love you, i want to be with you forever, to a little over 2 weeks of silence.

Happened to log into facebook today, looked to see if her information had been updated... She removed me as a friend, and lists a relationship with some new guy.


Thanks.  Thank you so much for having the decency to tell me.


I fucking hate people.

Silence is a killer.

In this modern age, how hard is it to send a text, or respond to a call and voicemails, or even a facebook message just once over the span of 2 weeks?

:-\